Wednesday, November 04, 2009
So here it is, life's going down the drain. No goals, no plans, no ambitions, no future
I guess i can say that i've pretty much ruined my own life, but in the bigger picture, it isn't about me anymore. Nothing is about me.
What was the point of short term happiness? in order to endure a life-long time of agony, regret, hate and self doubt? The messed up part is, i would probably do it again, and for what cost? in trade for all my friends... then again... what friends? ... During the hardest time in life, seldomly do friends remember you. Oh hippee hooray, you found out your friend is going through something tragic, and you decide to FB and TXT them.. oh joy (not)... this just really shows that they aren't as concerned as you want to be... but then again... if they call you, or visit you... what difference would that make if you've lost all interest in talkin to anyone?
how its so fickle... its time to pick people off my friendship list. Lets begin with you, oh and don't worry, you're next.
o^-^o
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Mild, Medium, Hot and Spicy
What's your flavour?
Mild - It's always nice to start out from the bottom most safest flavour. Most people are content with the mild flavour. its always the best fall back when all fails. Mild is never changing, always there when you need it, always there to protect your taste buds. So caring and tender is mild, but after a long period of time, mild becomes plain. And who would ever want to just settle with plain? Time to move on, and try a different flavour.
Medium - Now medium is just one step above mild. What a nice change. It definately gives a little kick in life. Walking hand in hand with medium isn't bad. This is something i can live with. But sometimes, medium is inconsistant, and then it becomes bland. Looking back, medium is not that much better than mild. Why not move foward?
Hot - This is definately a breath of fresh air! *breath in, breath out* wow, this is what i've been looking for, a flavour to blow my taste buds away. Dayem, this will leave me addicted. It has the right amount of flare, kick, the whole ten mile! Where have you been hiding all this time? So glad i got the chance to break free from the other 2 flavours and explore the sensational taste of hot hot hot. I can see myself being quite content just here... But.. my curiosity wanders...
Spicy - OMiGosh... *choking, can't breathe* help!! the fiery side of spicy is way out of this world, a world that i would never want to explore. A world where it will never bring me happiness. no, i dont want spicy. it will definately ruin my taste buds. Better back out, before i destroy my senses.
Overview of Flavours - At this present moment, i only have the taste buds for Hot. for how long? i'm not sure. that's just where i want to be. But in the longrun, will Hot sizzle down? For sure i wouldn't want to move foward from Hot, but if i were to move backwards, wouldn't it be a "safe fail" plan to just stick with ordinary mild? at least that way, i know mild cares about my taste buds and would never try to pretend it was something it's not.
Just like in life, what you want you cannot get, and what you have, you dont want. o^-^o
Note-to-self: Live in the moment. Find Mr. Right Now, that's all i need. Time can only tell if Mr. Right belongs to me.
I am my own priority o^-^o
Friday, March 06, 2009
on second thought -_-'' >> 01:45 pm
maybe its me, i need better friends.... o^-^o
i swear to god, i will disown you. Don't stalk me like some physco boyfriend killer. OMFG, i didn't talk to you one day, cuz i was super busy and had to go to bed early. OMG, i hung up on you, cry me a river. pathetic. i'll talk to you on my own terms. theres is no fking contract where i says i have to to talk to you every single day of my life... can someone say, desperate? fk, move on, get a gf, get out of my hair, yeah, you're my bestfrnd, so what? act like a bestfrnd, not like a jealous boyfriend. dont be messaging me and asking me "where have you been all day? why werne't you online? howcome you dind't asnwer my text messages? howcome you ignore my phonecall? why did you hang up on me?" uhh... here's some food for thought, "Why are you such a loser for?"
yeah, i admit, im mean. but this is what you get for acting like my boyfriend when you aren't. if you act more like a bestfrd, then everything would be fine and dandy like sugar floss and candy.
get a grip on yourself. you're just embarrassing yourself. o^-^o
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
I have so many mixed up feelings. im really not sure what to do anymore at this point. the only thing im even remotely interested in doing, is rebel against everything i believe in and grown up knowing. this means hurting people and leaving them behind. should i choose security for the future, or live in the present time and see where it takes me. my heart is so confused, but i do know for sure is...
life is way to bland and boring. need to spice it up. o^-^o
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
[mood] Soul Searching >> 12:50 pm
You know, thinking back, i've done some F#$@ up $H!& in my life, most of the things, i'm not entirely proud of. but sometimes i just can't help but continue... why? well, i guess after my life has been pretty much the same for the past half decade, its fun to surround life with some drama. drama keeps the world turning and keeps things interesting. downfall? well drama turns into a lot of conflict, and being stupid as i am, i dont know how to stop it. always holding out, and wishing that time will heal all. pathetic. time heals nothing but creates deeper wounds, and when the wounds dont heal, you're left with absolutely nothing, not even a soul.
I've lost my soul entirely. have you seen it? i dont think mine will ever come back, i'll never be the same again, theres no turning back... theres no hope... no light.... just emptiness o^-^o
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Vast Update till now >>>Fast Fwd >> 01:47 pm
SInce the last time i've been here, can't say much has changed.. but then again, that would seem highly impossible >_< seeing how i've never ever worked in my life (im a spoiled princess, what can i say, i'm uberly loved) so finally, i graduated from college, and not knowing what to do.. parents thought it would be time for me to get some real world experience out there in the world... and what better way to do it, then to do retail!! yay baby, thats were the funs at ^_^ .... as much as i loved retail, i would say im generally a fast learner, so within 9 monthes, i got promoted as an administrator... now lemme tell you, that was amazingly fun... getting to move to a larger store and not really doing anything does suit me a lot =) gotta love slacking off... after being an admin for 5 monthes, i deteremined that i did not make enough money... c'mon, it was a large store and i got like 2 bux more than minimum pay... repeatedly i've asked for a raise for the work that i did (which was flawless... LOL, or at least i would like to say so myself) so, before i knew it, i got promoted again, and now im working at the Head Office as an administrative coordinator... what i do here? stare at a computer monitor most of time and typing and correcting text, the best part of it, i get to play around in Paint a lot, which is of course, a lot of fun...
One thing i never understood about a blog is, how personally can anyone possible write in here? i feel that there's always a limit of how much one could say, just in case if someone from the 3rd party were to read it, they wouldn't know that it was geared to them... but then again, wheres the fun in that? a lil drama never hurt noboday... and a huge drama is what life's all about baby... without drama life would be so bland..
So ever since i started working, i havn't partied for ages, been under house arrest, which of course it a kill joy... i'be been working in the head office for about 3 weeks now.. atmosphere is different, not really use to this "non social" thing.. but its got its advantages i must say... sitting on my butt all day long... not a bad compromised considering how i use to go come crying almost every night hugging my feet due to fatigue...
My life so far? how can i complain? i have such great friends, altho we fight a lot, and they make me cry quite a bit (by the sounds of it, doesn't really take much for me for the water works to just start streaming out LMAO) besides the point, my frnds are wonderful, not to say the least... i would like to say that i have guys to my disposal, but that would sound wrong and mean, and most certainly not true (at least that's what i tell myself) i mean, if someone offers you a free ride to work and to home? who in the right mind could complain right? i get driven everywhere o_O yah yah, im a spoiled brat, but whos judging? so now i got guy A driving me 100% of the time... i met another guy, equally or even nicer than guy A (dont get me wrong, i still love the guy A... but guy B is... how would you say this... "fresh meat") so like a normal human being... fresh is always good... and not only that, its a change, and its fun =) so im trying to balance the whole driving schedule between the two... and its hard, since they both love driivng me so much.. (guys and driving... i'll never understand) and of course, they are uber sweet to me, always does things for me, when i dont ask them too.. its always nice to have them around =) now lets sidestep a lil, i have Guy C as well, now, i love guy C more than anything... he more or less completes me... but we fight like old married couples... but i would still do anything for him... too bad he doens't drive, but he always makes the effort to come see me, even if it takes him 2 hours to commute down to wherever i am... i gotta show appreciation for that, thats some dayem straight up commitment, i could never do that for anyone... having guy A, B and C is great, gives me the leisure of doing what i want with who i want... and of course let's not forget my boyfriend who is definately the most chill dude around... with his whole complete trust in me, i get away with whatever i want... i think im pretty lucky, dont you say? having not only my boyfriend loving me, but my guy friends as well... i honestly can say i love it... i wonder if other girls have this great fantastic leisure that i do... cuz comparing to my friends, seems to me im the only one
anyhow, not really expecting a response since blogdrive has been long gone for me... but i guess sometimes, its alwyas good to record stuff down, even if ppl don't read it... i guess that way, it makes it semi-private =) o^-^o
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
hmm, i have both good news and bad news.... let's start with the bad news first.....
well... i burned my entire thigh with 1st and 2nd degree burn!!! and now my skin is peeling like a mad woman, and it's all fleshy looking (it's really really pinkish -_-'') but aside from being burned by boiling hot water....so now when i walk, i limp like crazy =(..... and the good news is that school is almost out!!!! i have one exam left this week, and im FINITO *youpi* =D
o^-^o
Friday, February 25, 2005
[mood.stressssssed] >> 01:17 am
deadlines are flying all over the place, and i can't dodge them... i have to face them *sigh* my portfolios are all gonna be due pretty darn soon, i have to get my act together, i really hope i get into ryerson... i even have my bf to help me....
here are some of the upcoming deadlines
[a] Monday, Feb.28th @ 10am. Interview at Humber College
[b] Friday, March 4th @ 2pm. Interview and sewing test for George Brown
[c] Wednesday, March 9th. Ryerson deadlines for portfolios (20 items to put in)
sooo stressssed, i dun even know what to do, i've been skipping morning classes sooo much lately, and im not even planning on going tomorrow morning for classes either... *sigh* i really need my sleep... i feel like dropping out of Challenge and Change in Society!! when i enrolled into this program, i thought it was socialogy and stuff, but yeah, *sigh* it's a Mixed course, so i dun even know if i need it for university... ah wellz, i might as well stick with it rite? it can't be too too hard.... finally robin and i are gonna get into the class that we've been longing for, computer in web design =D i can't wait... the teacher is kicking two people outta the class, and replacing them with Robin and Me =D and i also have double fashion this semester, things couldn't be any greater =D
the garments im making for my fashion portfolio is almost done... my jacket is turning out quite nicely surprisingly =D i hope ryerson likes it as much as i do....hmm, the more i think of it, the more i realized that i honestly have no time for myself.... i havn't had lunch for myself this week which totally sux!! *sigherz*
o^-^o
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take this LOVE TEST this trully works, cuz it worked for me =D
this be a l i c e or a l i or a l for short. im currently 18. i was born in canada. my origin is chinese, i speak cantonese, english and french, which makez me a CBC. i was born in feb.06.1986 which makez me an aquarius. born under the planet Uranus, it makes me the ruler of enternal friendship. i live on the east side of TdotO, but im more of a westsider. dad born in HK and mom born in Viet. now im attending Central Technical School
 l.i.k.e.z
¤school environment vs. home
¤my pretty girls
¤my hubbie [jamez]
¤my ym magazines
¤digicam
¤minidisc
¤my piano 
h.a.t.e.z
¤working for other people
¤annoying people
¤dense/thick people
¤stuck-up know-it-allz
¤waking up in the morning
¤media image
visit the official site of she's robotic where events and articles are done weekly
Poplar Tree (the Uncertainty)--looks very decorative, talented, not very self confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy,reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.
click here to see what tree describes your personality
some random links/frnds linkz and whatnot:
|| emily : erica ||
|| danny : robin ||
|| diane : sookie ||
|| justina : katia ||
|| tine : sooey ||
|| jamez : neilee ||
|| ryan : newbie ||
|| henry : mikey ||
|| jason : jeff ||
|| jeremy : ||
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